It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
