spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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