I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and Iām already dressed and ready to go today.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
