just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize