No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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