why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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