It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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