There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
im drinking this country out of the recession.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize