Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
