So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
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Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
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the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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