Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
