I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
