I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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