Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.