i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Sext me about skeletons