i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy