Are you guys doing anything tonight?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.