Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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