Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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