so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
