she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Randomize
