my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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