I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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