Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I have already put on my inside pants.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize