Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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