This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
