Where did you get a picture of my penis
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
