I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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