i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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