Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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