You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
