My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize