Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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