well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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