If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
