She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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