your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
