yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Alive.
So much puke
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Never underestimate the power of titties
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