It's a beautiful day for a hangover
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
