How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We're using joints as your birthday candles
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Randomize
