hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
