come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
