That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
