Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Say something about gay babies.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
