Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
