i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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