Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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