ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
