I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Green mimosas i think yes
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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