Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
