she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
he just fucked me for my cheese.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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