please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
