i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
