I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
