It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
