...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize