i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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