do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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