How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
