I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
