Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
