Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize