she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
