First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize